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May 13 2014

Harrow Labour Councillor Accuses PM of Theft

vote_tick_boxThe political mud-slinging sparring continues apace following yesterday’s visit to Harrow by Boris Johnson and David Cameron. The latest twist is an accusation by Labour Councillor, Graham Henson, that the PM “stole £75million from residents.”

The visit also has the HCJ whipped up into a frenzy, with their latest email missive telling both their readers that “…the insecure and controversially installed leader of the Harrow Tory group called in the Prime Minister and the Mayor of London to Harrow this week!”

Called in? Wonder how that conversation went…

*ring ring*

Cameron: “David Cameron speaking. Who’s that?”

Hall: “Ah, Dave. Sheriff Hall here, I want…”

Cameron: “Ah, Susan, dearest. Wha…”

Hall: “Don’t interrupt me, Dave. Get your ass down here here pronto. And bring Boris. Got a spot of bother with the pavements here – need you to round up a few of the flunkies – do a Facebook or something – and get them here to stomp all over my pavements. Those buggers at the electric company have dug up my paving slabs, lobbed down a bit of tarmac, and ruined my lovely street. Oh, and get ’em blowing up balloons or something whilst they’re on the bus.”

Cameron: “Actually, I’m a bit busy. You know, Parliament and all tha…”

Hall: “Cut the crap, Cameron. This is important. You might want to have a word with those lefties here who are saying you nicked £75 million from them as well.”

Cameron: “They what? That lot who put up a convicted fraudster as a candidate there? The ones who had someone nicked for kiddie porn offences? The ones who booted out another fraudster?”

Hall: “That’s them. See you tomorrow then?”

Cameron: “Bloody hell. Alright, I’ll call in a sickie or something and close Parliament.  You bring the balloons and I’ll bring the hot air.”

Hall: “Good. Now see if you can find someone falling off a bike or something. That did wonders for Milliband last year. And get a bloody photo.”

Cameron: “Yes, Susan. I mean, Sheriff.”

Hall. “Right. And don’t forget to call Boris as well. Tell him I want that bloody station sorted. This whole step-free thing has dragged on for too long. A Mayor can easily fall down all those steps, if you see what I mean.”

Cameron: “I’m on it right now, Sheriff.”

Hall: “Good. Mess this up, Dave, and I’m taking it higher, okay?”

Cameron: “Good Lord, not, the, uh, Queen?”

Hall: “No, Dave. Samantha.”

*click*

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